How To Help Your Mate With Mental Problems?
Physical problems, such as headaches or indigestion, often can be helped with simple remedies. But what about psychological or emotional problems? Here are four suggestions. Keep in mind that these are offered What is the best way to help your mate who is troubled by these kinds of problems?
only as possibilities, not as prescriptions for particular cases.
Give your mate a chance to tell about his or her problem
This could be done by asking, “Do you want to talk about the problem?” Many people hesitate to raise such topics because they fear that they would be prying into their mate’s private affairs. They assume that if their mate has a problem it is because the mate wants to keep it secret, and they feel that asking about it would result in them being told to mind their own business.
However, this is not necessarily so. Once you ask your mate if he or she wants to talk about the problem, you will at least find out where you stand. If your mate says yes, then you can begin to help. If your mate says no, then at least you know that he or she doesn’t want to discuss the matter at the moment. But even in this case, listen carefully to what your mate has to say about it.
Don’t feel responsible for solving all of your mate’s problems
Many people are tempted to make the error of thinking, “I married this person because I love him (or her). Therefore, I want to solve all his (or her) problems.” The reason why people feel like this is because they take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings. If they think something, it is because they themselves are responsible for what they think.
If you do something, it is because you yourself have done it. If a problem exists, then it must be your fault. Therefore the only logical thing to do is to solve the problem as fast as possible so that everything will turn out all right.
Any psychiatrist or psychologist can tell you of the grave dangers of such an approach. It is not only impossible for you to solve your mate’s problems, but also you are likely to make the situation worse by trying.
Try being a good listener
Your mate may be very reluctant to talk about his or her problem, particularly if it has anything to do with emotional or psychological difficulties. He or she may want to keep it a secret. Even if he or she wants to talk, he or she may have difficulty finding the right words to express what is on his or her mind. If you are alert, you will be able to pick up clues that your mate is talking about some difficult problem by watching his or her expressions and mannerisms.
When you are certain that your mate is talking about some problem, draw him or her out. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. For example, you could say something like this: “Something must have happened to upset you very much.” After your mate answers, try asking another question. You might want to keep on asking questions until the topic has been fully covered.
Find a suitable therapy for him/her
If you are able, you might want to suggest that your mate see a mental health professional of some kind. If he or she is amenable to this idea, find out what kinds of therapy are available locally and make an appointment for him or her.
Sometimes it would be appropriate for both spouses to go together for counseling sessions. This might be the case if both of you are having difficulty adjusting to each other or perhaps if there is a problem in the family. You can find among many therapy companies to pick out the one which is suitable for your mate.
Conclusion
If you do these things, then your mate will hopefully be able to solve the problem by himself or herself. If he or she is not able to do so (and this is likely), it may be that the only solution would be for him or her to seek professional help. However, no matter what happens in the future, you can be certain that you have done everything possible to help your mate.